Whenever I hear the term "self-care", my mind immediately conjures up images of peaceful lakeside retreats, warm bubble baths and sunrise yoga. You know, the stuff you see on Instagram with hashtags declaring the importance of taking time to relax and replenish.
But this year, as I focus on healing, I'm learning that self-care isn't always scented candles and warrior pose. Self-care isn't always snapshot worthy. Sometimes, putting yourself first and protecting your heart manifests in as mundane a task as returning an unread book to the library and refusing to feel guilty about it.
I'd been on the library hold list for Fire And Fury: Inside The Trump White House for months. When it finally arrived at my local branch, there were 207 other people waiting for me to finish so they could get their hands on it. I brought it home and had every intention of reading it straightaway ... but didn't. It sat on my nightstand for a few days, untouched. I read the other books I'd taken out of the library first, even though I had a longer loan period for them. "You better start reading that Trump book," my husband warned, "otherwise you'll have to return it and wait another six months before you get your hands on it again."
I knew he was right ... but deep down, I also knew it wasn't the right time for me to jump into a book about the Trump administration. I'll let you in on a secret: I am wired to worry, prone to nervousness. The state of the world has a tendency to stress me out to the point of emotional exhaustion. I don't say that to be facetious; I really do struggle with anxiety. Politics, in particular, tends to leave me feeling beaten down and discouraged. Life would probably be a lot easier for me if I walked around with rose-tinted glasses, but unfortunately I can't bring myself to subscribe to the notion that "ignorance is bliss". I believe in being informed and staying up-to-date with political happenings ... but I've come to realize that it's okay to take a step back when I'm feeling vulnerable.
There is no one size fits all when it comes to self-care. We're all different, with different strengths, weaknesses, triggers and needs. Part of my self-care is recognizing when I'm likely to get particularly worked up about something ... unreasonably worked up, exceptionally anxious, to the detriment of my mental health ... and consciously stepping away from that thing until I can process it with clarity and reason. Part of what self-care looks like, for me, is returning the Fire And Fury book to the library, unread, and picking up a lighthearted romance novel instead. It's not about turning a blind eye to the world, but about being in tune with what your soul needs at any given moment. Last week, my soul needed a break from politics and a good dose of happily ever after.
I share all this to challenge you to consider your own life and what self-care looks like to you. What little, seemingly insignificant things are you doing to guard your heart and keep yourself emotionally healthy? Maybe it's avoiding social media for the day. Maybe it's not opening an email from a meddlesome relative the moment it pops into your inbox. Maybe it's deciding not to stay up late washing the dishes, leaving them scattered across the kitchen counter for tomorrow. Maybe it's giving yourself permission to return a stack of unread library books and not feeling guilty as you push them through the book drop.
Whatever your small acts of self-care are ... keep doing them! Don't let anybody tell you that the choices you're making in the name of self-preservation are too ordinary to matter. Self-care should be a daily practice. As wonderful as spa days are, it's small the things - those simple, everyday choices - that add up over time and create a well-rounded, healthy life. As Vincent Van Gogh once said: "Great things are not done on impulse, but by a series of small things brought together."
The world can be a stressful, overwhelming place. Be kind to yourself every chance you get xx
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